Thanksgiving

tomorrow is thanksgiving

my brother is home

and so is my sister in law that i forgot about for a few months

i’m not used to this many females in my house

i like it when it’s all guys and my mom

if you took away the gender of a girl and made them guys, all that they would be are really corny guys (meaning the attraction would be instantly lost and you’d actually want to run away from them rather than spend hours planning your next move)

women crowd my existence (they are too slow and unaware)

yet i love them and need their love too (a fact that i must face though i loathe admitting it)

there really is no answer to why men and women need each other except for that’s just how we are made. love is just a thing that we have and we can’t help but giving it to other people even though it makes no logical sense. there is hardly any benefit to attaching yourself to another person in any sort of form, but we can’t stop it. doesn’t it sound better for me to say, “I would rather go to school, get a degree, make money, and have a completely sane life by myself than get married.” Or is it better to say, “I would rather go to school, get a degree, get married, split my money between two people, raise children, and then live a life unable to separate myself from the person i’ve married.”  you can do whatever you want in life when you are by yourself, but you are made to have relationships with people. its just a strange paradox that has been running through my mind lately. i hate that i can’t do everything on my own, but i love that too.

*i thought that i had put this on the internet and was frustrated when i didn’t see it here but i am an idiot because i forgot about the publish button until now.

Happiness

I am home, finally. Even though I grow weary in this place I am actually really excited to be here in this moment. It’s funny how much time and effort I put into leaving the room that I’m in, only to end up here content and happy as I was when I was 13. Happiness is a circle (and a dirty scam). Blogging is the same way. Sometimes I really am discontented by posting thoughts on the internet whereas other times I can’t wait to unveil my life publicly. I’m not saying that I’m that anxious right now but there is no escape from the continual flow and change of happiness.